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Dark Shadows

I wasn't particularly looking forward to seeing Dark Shadows, and I wasn't particularly happy about having spent my time seeing it either. Dark Shadows is a movie that could have potentially been great, but it came together so poorly it was unpleasant to watch.

Dark Shadows is what you get when you force comedy into a soap opera vampire love story that was already near the edge of being ridiculous. The moments of comedy weren't as bad as they were out of place. It made the soap opera parts of it seem especially ludicrous.

That wouldn't have been so bad, but then there's the terribly awkward sex scenes. Nothing inappropriate shows, but they're still on the brink of being offensive. This whole mess of things that don't fit together goes on for so long and moves so slow.

There are some good little twists and moments here and there, but it's not enough to carry the movie. Fortunately, the acting isn't terrible. The roles are archetypal, but they're executed well.

In general, I'm a fan of Tim Burton. I love so much of his work, but he really needs to stop doing adaptations of old movies and shows. Willie Wonka was enough. Dark Shadows has gone too far.

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Dark Shadows 2012-06-01 05:33:40 Miranda R., Chief Critic
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2.0
Reviewed by Miranda R., Chief Critic    May 31, 2012

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Dark Shadows 2012-06-01 05:25:26 Tara the Mom
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3.0
Reviewed by Tara the Mom    May 31, 2012

Sex, Drugs & Alice Cooper

A remake of a cheesy 1970s soap opera doesn't sound particularly intriguing to kids, but add in Johnny Depp as an 18th century vampire comedically trying to make his way in 1972 and the attraction just increased. After seeing the film, I'm honestly not sure if teens will like it or not. My take is that it's intentionally setting out to be an awesomely bad film, kind of like the films of Ed Wood (a previous subject covered in a movie by Depp and director Tim Burton).

Regardless, the "me generation" was all about sex, drugs, rock and roll, and all the elements are on display in DARK SHADOWS; in fact, I can't believe it's rated PG-13. The CGI makes the Collinswood haunted mansion feel like Disneyland's Haunted Mansion, but younger kids may get scared at the ghosts and otherworldly creatures. Also, Depp's Barnabus Collins is a real vampire so, even though it's not exactly on camera, the vampire attacks may be a little much for sensitive kids. Overall, stick with the PG-13 rating - teens only.

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